Our 21bis reporter Janne often wonders what other people think of her appearance. But why does it matter what other people think? Find out her thoughts and discover some new tips on how to like yourself better. 

Studying in a new country can sometimes be challenging. As an international student, you don’t always know what to do, where to go and how to manage your feelings. But Wellness Wednesday is here to help. Do you need a boost of energy, some quick tips on how to get your life together or are you in need of some good advice? Every Wednesday there will be a series of lifestyle articles posted on 21bis. Mindfulness, relaxation, food and exercise: we have it all. With our ideal tips and tricks, you will come a long way. Make sure to visit this website and follow us on our Instagram page: ‘weare21bis’ to stay up-to-date. Get ready to brighten up your day! And now onto the article: Why do you care about what other people think?

I have to be completely honest with you: I envy the people who don’t give a fuck about what people think about them. I like to think I’m one of those people, but I’m not. I’m that person that walks by a big window and checks if she isn’t walking weirdly. Or that my backpack doesn’t look too big, I might end up looking like a turtle, you never know. Maybe my hair isn’t split perfectly in the middle or my mascara is a bit smudgy. Why does it bother me that much?

Guilty as charged
The thing is, these days you can look like anything you want. You can wear what you want, when you want and however you want to wear it. Or that’s what people say. You’d think that in 2019, people don’t judge each other anymore, but it still happens. And it happens a lot. I’m guilty of it, and I bet you are too. The second you see someone walk by who looks a bit different than anyone else, you’ll start to criticize that person. They have brightly coloured hair? Judge them. Maybe a skirt that’s too short for your liking? Judge them. Someone’s wearing all black? Judge. Them.

It seems like every person wants to be the best. Everybody wants to be the prettiest, the smartest, the coolest, you name it. So when someone walks by who wears that short skirt or dyes their hair a cool, bright colour, we get upset. To make ourselves feel better, we gossip. We judge. You don’t actually think that skirt is scandalous, but you just have to talk about it, so you feel better.

Humans don’t like to not be liked.

So why is that? Why do we care so much about the way we look and what other people think of us? Why does it matter if the guy next to you in the train doesn’t like your shirt? You don’t know him, you’ll probably never, ever see him again, and still, it matters. Because us humans don’t like to not be liked. That train-guy probably isn’t even thinking about your shirt, he’s too caught up with everything that’s going on in his own life.

Live life for you
It’s super important to remember that you live life for you, not for others. So fuck what other people think. You wear those clothes because they make you feel like you. Your hair looks the way it does because you like it. Look in the next window you’re coming across and say to yourself I look good. If you feel good about yourself, you look good.

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If you like our Wellness Wednesday series, be sure to check out our previous article: How to start your social media detox

Text and photos: © Janne Schellingen